Happiness Is Back

The feeling I had the entire day today was different. I told my friend, basically a quite close friend, bout the breaking up issue. To my surprise, he could see it from my face, how perfectly happy I am now. Not to say I am happy now, because I left him or anything. It just feels different, and it feels like I've threw that damn fucking heavy burden far far away. It's good to have that kind of feeling today.

Results were out today. I got to know already 5 subjects out of 9 subjects. To be honest, I am not satisfied with my progress for this Mid-term exam, except for my Bahasa Malaysia and English Language. I think I am kinda over confident for my Science paper and History paper this time, and serve me right for having that feeling. Guess I just have to work even more harder to really achieve the goal of mine and of course, make everyone around me proud.

Actually, decisions is not that hard to make one definite decision and never regret bout it. And yes, I took the right decision upon leaving him and let happiness find the both of us. My tuition teacher sensed something is not right, and so he asked me just now. "Vaness, you seem kinda moody just now. Anything that you would like to share? You know, you've been posting stuffs on Facebook." I was shocked at first, because I wasn't really sure to tell the truth or to wait him to tell it. And so my reply was simple, "Err, you will know it soon enough la, anne." "Ooh, so it happens already la now? When did this happen? Last week?" "Yea, it happened. Err, officially yesterday." "Well, if it is not happening now, it's gonna be happening later. So, it's better to make it happen now than later, Vaness. So, who asked for it? You or him?" I was like, "Him." 

My friend who knew bout what happened actually asked him, "Jackson, don't you miss Vaness?" And all he did was smile and said, "We broke up already la. Just keep it as a secret." The moment she told me this, I was like, what the hell? Why do you need her to keep it as a secret? Wouldn't it be known sooner or later? Anyway, I respect him for his decisions. It's up to him what he want to say, as I've got no rights to control him anymore, and neither would I want to have that chance anymore. I can't bear anymore scars in my fragile heart. Never.

He seems to be awkward facing me at tuition just now. But, all I did was just be there and study, concentrate. Just that, I got used to see him in his usual place, and I have to get rid of that as soon as possible. The problem now is that, we both seems like we do not have any idea upon what to do with the things that we have bought for each other back then. But to me, when it's time, you will, I will, we will have the urge to do something to those things, wouldn't we?

yenn :)