The Truth, Please?

If everything was just a bad dream, I wish I could wake up from this bad dream and never had this dream anymore. Thinking back now, I really miss you a lot. Really, a lot. I don't know are you really happy right now, or are you just wearing a fake mask like I am, but I wish you're happy now. If you're happy, then I shouldn't see your tired-looking face just now. Or maybe, you are really tired after your training today.

I know, if I say "I miss you" to you now, you wouldn't know how to react, although I wanted to send you that text so badly right now. And yes, I admit for a few times, I wanted to hug you so badly at tuition or even at school for that matter. Whatever that I am going through right now, is really a HELL to me. It's even more suffering for me to face it now, compared to those days before I tell you what is actually on my mind. If, just if I say "I want you back", will you come back? Please, be honest. Although, the truth hurts.

We say we are still friends, but I know that somehow we can't be friends. Maybe just a normal friend who won't even say or talk to each other when we meet. I still remember me saying that we could still be siblings, as long as we don't hate each other. But, thinking back now, it's hard for me to face you. Really. Very hard.

And yes, I admit that I really really really miss you a lot. I miss all the memories we had when we are together, no matter how nice or how bad it was, I still miss you. Although, I've got no idea what is in your mind now actually. Of course, I wish you're actually missing me as well. I really wish I could have the courage now to text you and say "I still love you" and see what is your respond. But, I am just too afraid of the reply that I would get from you. Maybe, just maybe I would really text you and tell you that thing tonight, after I really had think enough bout it? Yes, you who had made me to believe in the word forever, I want you to make me believe it back, please. I know this is totally selfish but, I really want you back in my life.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and whatever that is meant to be will be, but not this one. And I wish I knew the reason behind this. I wish I knew the reason so that, I could change and get you back into my life again. Because like I said before this, I am having a pretty hard time to face you, no matter where I meet you. So, come back please? *Sigh

yenn :)